I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
