If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Randomize
