all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
How naked do you want me to be?
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
