I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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