my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
