whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
