No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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