I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Randomize
