i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
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