You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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