I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
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