Did you just see the Batmobile???
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
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