I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
