I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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