Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
