waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I lost the right to judge tonight
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
