I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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