I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
