god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize
