God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
it's like iHOP with fire
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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