I'd wear matching sweaters with you
I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Randomize
