No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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