I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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