I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Randomize
