Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
