Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Randomize
