He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
Randomize
