So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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