I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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