He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
