So drunk its hurt
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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