id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
