Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
