Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
