Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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