look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
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