I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
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