i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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