Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
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