you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I need water and some morals
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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