Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
you inspire me to be a worse person
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Randomize
