This is not my ceiling
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
