I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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