weddingsv make me drug and hornr
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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