when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
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