"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize
