Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
