You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
