My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
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