I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
