So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
