this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
