WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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