i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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