Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Randomize
