She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
