I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
