Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
