Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
honey bunches of taint.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Randomize