White coat. Heels.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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