Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
