You're a womanizer and a bitch.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Congratulations! We have a period
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
