Rock
Scissors
Fuck
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Michael Bay diarrhea
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Randomize