I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
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