We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Randomize
