Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
We had to coat check the pizza.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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