If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
