He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
