he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
