It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Randomize
