no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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