omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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