Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Randomize
