ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
