Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
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