you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
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