I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
